When "Rise to the Occasion" Become a Trap

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and mention that I was considering not following through with something because I knew I wasn't physically ready. And as all good friends do, he responded with enthusiasm and support, but also in an attempt to push me! He texted me this:

“Do we rise to the occasion or fall back to our level of preparation?”

Ahhh... Yes, very Yoda-like!

And at first, it hit me like a shot of adrenaline. 

Yes! 

Push yourself. 

Get it done. 

Don’t let fear hold you back!!!!!

Get it GIRL!!!! 

But then… I sat with it.

And I realized: there’s a shadow side to this kind of “motivational” thinking.

It can seduce us into ignoring the truth: sometimes, not going for it is THE most confident, self-assured move we can make.

When we frame every challenge as a test of grit, we risk pushing beyond healthy limits, damaging our bodies, burning out, or making choices driven more by than wisdom. It’s the kind of thinking that says, “If you don’t go all in, you’re weak.” 

That’s not motivation; that’s pressure dressed up as inspiration. 

I've had enough of that my entire life.

I think true self confidence allows you to 

• evaluate readiness honestly. Instead of asking, “Can I push myself?” you ask, “Should I push myself, today?”

• separate confidence from ego. You’re not chasing a goal to prove your worth; you already know your worth.

• set boundaries without guilt. Turning down an opportunity doesn’t mean you lack courage—it means you value sustainability over self-destruction.

I think true self-confidence also means knowing when to say ‘Not Now’.

So, I made the decision not to push through. 

Not because I was afraid, but because I respected my preparation, my health, and my long-term goals more than the ego rush of “just pushing through.”

So the next time you see a quote that makes you feel like you’re failing if you don’t go for it, pause. 

Check yourself. 

And remember, real strength is sometimes the decision to stand still.